Let’s Talk Stoicism, Virtue of Self-Control

Hey y’all! This is the last of a four part series about the virtues of Stoicism. If you haven’t already, definitely check out the overview of Stoicism, then the articles on wisdom, justice, and courage. Come back when you’re finished. If you’re already one step ahead of me, which you probably are, then pull up a chair and let’s talk self-control.

Let’s be real, most of us know what self-control is already

Self-control is one of those topics that’s incredibly simple, but has immeasurable impact on our lives. And I find it interesting because while most of us know the dictionary definition, I would say that it barely scratches the surface of the concept.

“How so?”

Well, I would say because when someone refers to self-control, most people would probably immediately think about actions. Like someone might think “I showed self-control by not eating that slice of cake, not drinking, or not going out when I should’ve been studying”.

But self-control is more than just about what we do. It’s also about what we think. Because if you think about it, every action that we do was just a thought at one point. So by exercising restraint in what we think about, in our self talk, and in directing what we think about, we inevitably impact our actions. In reality, control of our thoughts should be paramount.

“That’s true, David. BUT, that doesn’t completely explain why self-control is necessary.”

Right. One of my favorite people on Earth right now is Jocko Willink. He’s an incredibly fascinating guy, but what’s most intriguing is his stance on discipline which, as you probably guessed, is birthed from self-control. He has this quote that’s pretty simple in concept, but difficult to understand sometimes, “Discipline equals Freedom”.

First time I heard this quote, I thought, “That doesn’t make any sense at all.” Because it does sound incredibly strange. How can discipline, which is based on denying and restraining yourself, equal freedom, which is the exact opposite of that?

Don’t worry, I got you

Trust me, I KNOW it sounds wild. But it makes sense after you dive in. Discipline equals freedom because you essentially have to exercise discipline in order to obtain freedom.

For example, we all deal with finances. And I know all of us want to get to a point where we’re financially stable, and can do what we want without being constrained by funds. And quite a few of us would like to live like Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, or Warren Buffett.

But the main things about those men is that they’re ridiculously disciplined. They had to work long hours for seemingly no return, believe in dreams that no one else saw, and do everything in their power to succeed. And now they’re some of the world’s most succesful people.

But they had to sacrifice, focus, and work to get to that point. That requires levels of discipline that most of us couldn’t even imagine. And now they have financial freedom that the average person can only dream of. But that freedom came from their discipline. Discipline equals freedom.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion”

That’s one of my favorite quotes by the GOAT, Muhammad Ali. And if you don’t know who that is, just watch this (watch the video anyways, it STILL blows my mind). Muhammad Ali could have quit training at any point, and we probably would have never known his name. But he stuck with it. And now his name is remembered for eternity.

But he wouldn’t have been who he was without discipline. He wouldn’t be the GOAT if not for self-control.

Self-control is crucial to our lives, but how do we get it?

As with obtaining courage, there’s a process for gaining self-control. That process is simple, but not easy. There are two methods: restraining yourself and doing things you need to do, even when you don’t want to. And both of those are pretty straightforward. But they’re pretty difficult.

If you want six pack abs, then you’ve got to adjust your nutrition and work out. That might mean cutting down on foods you really enjoy, like cheesecake and sweet tea (I almost cried writing that). And there are going to be times that you don’t feel like working out, but you’ve got to do it if you want to see results.

And while that’s a pretty tame example, it definitely helps illustrate the points of restraint and endurance. Because all people people will encounter situations in which we need to push through or hold ourselves back.

But think about if you’re starting a business or finishing school. There are going to be times where you have to take a call on a Sunday when you want to rest, or say no to going out so that you can get a good night’s sleep before a test. Both of those require self-control, and taking the time to do that will greatly benefit you in the future.

Where does that leave us?

It leaves us with the knowledge that self-control is important in our lives. It allows us the ability to do amazing things. But it’s something that we need to train and embrace. Because it’s gonna suck at times. But it’ll be so worth it in the long run.

I want to thank you for taking the time to talk humans with me today. Check out Jocko Willink, especially Extreme Ownership, since it’s an interesting read and highlights quite a few fundamental human concepts. As always, I want to hear your thoughts, so hit me up in the comments section or the Contact Me page. If you enjoy the content, please subscribe! And if you think someone could gain something from it, please share!! And don’t forget to take time this week to talk humans with someone. Peace!!