Let’s Talk Lifestyle: Acceptance

Hey, y’all!! Today’s post is on one of my favorite topics: acceptance. Let’s dive right in, so pull up a chair, and let’s talk acceptance.

First, what is acceptance?

Oddly enough, I don’t think the dictionary definitions truly do this concept justice. The best I found incidentally was on Wikipedia, which states “Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest it. The concept is close in meaning to acquiescence, derived from the Latin acquiēscere (to find rest in). “ There’s so much to unpack in those words, which is part of why I love it so much. Let’s start with the obvious.

Acceptance is something we all deal with

Often listed as the 5th stage of the five stages of grief, acceptance is one of those things that everybody will experience in some fashion. Since grief is one of the most common and understandable, let’s stick with that for now. Unfortunately, we’ve all experienced the death of a loved one. And if you haven’t, I’m sorry, but it’s going to happen. I have a friend who’s going through that right now.

It’s a pretty terrible experience usually. And I’ve found that no matter how much it happens, it never really gets easier. But at the end of that grieving process comes acceptance. We hit that point where we come to terms with their death, where we assent to the reality of the situation. We stop protesting that it happened but instead look forward to the future of life without them.

The thing that I find the most interesting about acceptance is that it’s versatile. And what I mean by that is that not only does it serve a couple of functions, but it appears in many aspects of our lives. Let’s start with the functions.

Acceptance is an end

Like with grief, acceptance can be the end of a process. Usually, those trials involve the death of something. This could be a person, a relationship, a chapter of our lives, or anything that has a beginning and an end. Acceptance at its base is an admission to the self that things will never be what they once were.

This recognition really is just a marker that we are undergoing a change in our lives. Oftentimes, change is an extremely uncomfortable process. But it’s crucial to our development throughout our lives. It signals that we have reached the end of an era, so to speak. But…

Acceptance is also a beginning

As we discussed, acceptance is a marker for change. But I feel like that’s too abstract a way to describe it, and I prefer concrete examples. Think of acceptance as a doorway. When we embrace reality as it is, it allows us to close the door on what our lives were, and open the door to what they could be. All we have to do is be willing to walk through.

Easier said than done of course. But even though it’s difficult, viewing acceptance of a situation as an opportunity to change our lives for the better is crucial. Whether we decide to have more fulfilling relationships or friendships, learn more about our feelings, or practice a new philosophy, we have a chance to improve and move forward from our current situation.

But none of that can be done without first accepting where we are at. Most of us have gone to school and gotten an answer wrong on a test. And in some of those cases, we were sure we were right! But if it turns out we actually were wrong, can we correct ourselves and learn unless we actually accept we were mistaken?

There’s a quote by Nyogen Senzaki that goes “Like this cup, you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you wisdom unless you first empty your cup?” And I feel like acceptance should be approached the same way. We can’t truly change things until we accept how they actually are. We can’t begin a health journey until we accept that we need to be healthy. We can’t grieve if we don’t accept the person is gone. It’s hard, but it’s the first step towards meaningful change. And here are a few ways I’ve found to make it easier.

Don’t run and don’t hide

Refusing to acknowledge the situation only makes things worse. This is otherwise known as denial, and while it might be an important stage of grieving, it’s important to recognize that that’s what’s happening as soon as possible. Some people cope with reality by hiding from it or running away, and that does nothing but allow the feelings toward the situation to grow and fester.

As such, when something occurs, don’t run and don’t hide. Contrary to popular belief, turning and facing the situation is the best course of action. This takes courage, and while it might be painful, it will allow us as people to get to the place of growth. And we’ll learn something along the way.

Look back

Take a second to reflect on the situation. Think about everything to do with it, good and bad. For example, when grieving for a loved one, take time to remember who they were as a person. Recall all of your experiences with them and feel your feels. See what lessons you can extract from their life and your interactions with them. Embrace and cherish who they were.

Apply this logic to any situation that requires acceptance. Reflect, learn, embrace. And then…

Look forward

Remember that that chapter has closed, but a new one has begun. So with your newfound knowledge, do what changes you can make to improve your life. Like, how would your loved one have wanted you to live? Or what can you do to strengthen your relationships with people? Get curious about what you can do differently. Acceptance is the gateway for change. So make sure that change is for the better.

Thanks for talking humans with me today. How do you go through the acceptance process? Drop a comment below with your answer. Don’t forget to subscribe and share. Catch y’all next week! Adios!!