When most people hear the word “stoic”, they probably picture a person with no visible emotion. Essentially, the equivalent of a living statue: utterly unfazed by the happenings of the outside world and never really feeling anything. But is that what being a stoic is really about?
You probably guessed it, but the answer is no.
So what does being stoic mean? Well that’s what we’re going to discuss today, so pull up a chair, and let’s talk Stoicism.
First, what is Stoicism?
Stoicism is a Hellenistic (the time period between the death of Alexander the Great and the birth of the Roman Empire) philosophy created by Zeno of Citium in 3rd century BC. And while Zeno is the creator, you’ll find that practitioners usually cite works fromMarcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca.
But while these men came from completely different backgrounds, their approach to life through the tenets of Stoicism were the same. And that basically stemmed from one fundamental truth.
“Ok David, I’ll bite. What is that truth?”
The only things that you can control are your choices. That was a pretty hard concept for me to grasp, which is ironic because it’s SO intuitive, and it’s something that most people know already. But the interesting thing about this is what falls under this category of choice.
For example, a reaction to an argument is a choice. Eating that slice of cake is a choice. Viewing someone cutting you off in traffic as an attack on you and everything you love is a choice (I’m VERY guilty of that one). And, to a degree, what you think about is a choice. The implication is that the root of Stoic philosophy self control.
But that’s not the only idea that’s important.
There are three other virtues that make up the backbone of Stoic philosophy: justice, wisdom, and courage. Effectively, the idea here is that every course of action and decision we make should be to the end of one of these attributes.
“That’s cool and all, but where does the emotionless part come from?”
Well, there’s this idea in Stoicism of indifference. But it’s not like apathy or not caring about things. It’s more so that a person shouldn’t let things that are outside of their control affect them. For example, you decide to go for a hike, but then a massive thunderstorm comes through the area, preventing you from going, so you get sad. Or someone says something disrespectful to you, so you get angry and lash out (SUPER guilty of this unfortunately).
In reality, there wasn’t necessarily anything good or bad about either of those events. But what made them affect you like they did was the interpretation of the event, i.e. how you framed the event in your mind. The idea in Stoicism is that outside phenomena, like a thunderstorm or an unkind word are outside of your control, and are therefore indifferent. Which sparks this idea that stoic people are really just emotionless robots that aren’t fazed by anything.
Now, it’s extremely important to note that the concept of indifference, in actuality, isn’t implying that you be emotionally indifferent to occurrences in your life. Pretty much the only people who are completely unfazed by happenings in their lives are psychopaths. But really what this is about is the intelligent processing of those emotions. And when I say that, I’m talking about, unfortunately, sitting down and taking a real good look at what you’re feeling and why. Which is extremely difficult, and often times incredibly painful. But is a necessary step in our growth as people. Being able to do that requires all four of the virtues listed above.
So what does this mean for us?
Really, the main take away is that the only things that you can control are your choices. This also implies responsibility over your choices, and acceptance over the consequences, positive or negative. Another important thing to note is reflection over those actions, taking the time to analyze what decisions you’re making, how and, more importantly, why you’re making them, and how you can improve that decision making process. All of that can be applied almost immediately, and can potentially drastically change the way you view and approach life. And we will discuss those as we continue to dive into the philosophy together!
I want to thank you for sitting down and talking about stoicism with me. For more resources on stoicism, check out Ryan Holiday. He’s a modern proponent of stoicism, and his articles and book are extremely informative. Also check out Eric Barker’s post about stoicism. If you have any thoughts and want to continue the conversation, drop a line in the comment section. And don’t forget to take some time to talk humans with someone in your life this week. Until next time, ciao!